Adrift

I'm alone a lot. It's really been bothering me lately. I need more friends honestly. I don't need to replace the friends I have now, but I really need to add more friends. I rarely ever have any plans anymore. I want to get out and go to the movies,or shop, or hit up Friday's, or go to a club. If I want to go anywhere I pretty much have to go on my own and I hate having to do that. Shopping I can do on my own and not feel too weird about it, but I can't bring myself to sit in the bar at Friday's alone with my drink. I'd look completely pathetic I think. I wish I had the option to just text someone and say let's do something tonight I'll be right over to pick you up. I want to get out and socialize and have fun. I'm tired of sitting on my bed with my laptop every night with nothing to do. It's depressing. Sometimes I'm just feeling so alone I start crying. In the last few weeks I've had little contact with my best friend. I've spoken to her online once since Friday. I do have one person who I have talked to almost everyday for a while now,but I know that in a couple of months circumstances will be changing and contact won't be as regular and I'm dreading that loss. Hopefully in the coming months I become employed or are able to start school. I am dying for regular human interaction. That was one really nice thing about back when I was working, I always had people to talk to. We were a very talkative and gossipy bunch and I loved it. Solitude is driving me crazy. When I actually am around other people I tend to vomit out piles of words. When I see my therapist every week I always have so much to say. I need to figure out a solution for this...