Wait Didn't I Just Do This?

So here it is again, 4- something in the morning on a Wednesday and my tv options are bleak. QVC is doing Christmas decorations and HSN has faux fur hats with animal prints. Oh wait with matching vests. I can't imagine myself ever wearing a faux fur vest, much less one in an animal print. One of the models has a matching scarf so I'm assuming I'll have that to look forward to in a bit. I went to bed at 8am on Tuesday morning, I woke up at noon because the phone rang and I decided against waking up permanently and went back to bed until 4pm. Oh fantastic there's a headband to match the scarf and the vest and the ridiculous hat and the handbag. I should waste a few hundred dollars and get the whole set and just wear it all at once. I shouldn't joke there probably are women doing that right now. Maybe I can order each piece in a different animal pattern,but still wear them together. Anyway I got up at 4pm and actually got going before 5. I got my birth control pills refilled and the pharmacist came out and asked if I still wanted the name brand even though it had gone up in price by $4. I am considered a cash customer since I lost my insurance when I lost my job in April. I would hate to be in a position that $4 would effect my decisions with medication. If I got on the generic pills it'd be way cheaper,but I did generic for 2 months several years ago and I ended up with horrible PMS symptoms. I'm willing to pay the extra money to avoid feeling like crap. I got myself ready for the gym way ahead of time tonight. I was dressed and ready by 9pm so that I had no excuse not to go at 10 once The Biggest Loser was over. Oh wow there's a poncho! With a belt!! Oh this is horrible! Okay so I made it to the gym and was able to easily get on my favorite treadmill. I ended up doing 2.81miles in 45 minutes. I'm always slightly ashamed of myself when I'm watching people twice my size running and I'm consistently at a brisk walk. Every time I've bucked myself up enough to run I end up feeling like I could die right there. I've convinced myself that it's because of my rapid heartbeat and not that I'm out of shape. I suppose no one is judging me ,but I always wonder. Downstairs there was a young guy training his friend. He had really nicely defined arms and I enjoyed watching the way the muscles in his upper arms moved as he worked out. Its amazing how all the muscles move. His friend kept not quite getting the exercises down each time he tried so I'm guessing they hadn't done this before. The worst thing about exercise is how hot and sweaty my cleavage ends up. I know that's not an attractive thought , but its true. I don't think people realize that a large chest is really hot ( and not just sexy hot lol). I always have to wear these tiny tank tops to the gym with my boobs popping out all over the place otherwise its unbearable. I'm sure people think its slutty, but dammit its practical and comfortable. I really should go to the gym more often. Back when I was working I was going 3 or 4 times a week and now that I'm free pretty much all the time I maybe drag myself once a week. I bet if I went more often and actually did more than the treadmill I'd look amazing and I could be in fantastic shape. Apparently the gym wiped me out. I fell asleep right after 1am and woke up at 2 something and switched to M*A*S*H and fell back asleep and woke up at 2:52am in time to catch the last few minutes of the second episode. Within 10 minutes my head started to hurt. I should hydrate better maybe. If I actually took really good care of myself and ate healthy and worked out I would be unstoppable. My headache is mostly gone and its 5 til 5am. For some reason everything seems slightly hazy right now. I think I may sleep...