I Am a Disco Ball

I had a really good Saturday for the first time in weeks. My best friend had a craft party today and I hadn't done anything artsy for a very long time. I used to paint or draw or make snazzy little trinkets quite a bit back in the day.I couldn't even really tell you why or when I stopped, but I know its been years. I think after a while most of my former hobbies just took a back seat to trying to get through each day. I stopped at some point while I was still in college I believe. Everyone there today ended up with a bit of glitter on their clothes or faces. Since I'm usually the quirky, slightly nutty one it made sense that I ended up looking like a pink and gold disco ball. I had glitter literally head to toe. My jeans were sparkling in the moon light as I walked out to my car. There's still glitter on my chest right now despite my efforts. My bff and I took her daughter to Denny's tonight and she went off to join her theatre friends while we sat in our own section and enjoyed smothered cheese fries and pie and chatted away. I really need that. I get so closed up and isolated so much of the week. I generally start feeling a little depressed on Thursday nights and by Friday afternoon when I'm vacuuming my parents church I'm in full blown blah and Saturdays I usually am just in a hazy lite depression. I like when there's a break in the cycle. Right now I have a strange sense of hopefulness. I hope it stays this time. Usually when I start feeling this way I get knocked down again by something or someone. I'm quite tired of it really. I want to hang on to it. A pile of stuff on my floor shifted and I found a parking pass for Kansas State University dated for 10/28/08...that was the last day I ever saw my ex. I always find the strangest things at the strangest times. A couple of months ago I found a musical KSU keychain at the 99c Store, it plays the fight song. They also had the U of Conn what an odd pairing for a store in Hemet. I can't find my remote so I'm stuck using the laughably large back up one that is impossible to lose. Thankfully the weekends usually have actual programming on so I don't get stuck with shopping channels. In a little over a week I should finally start getting my unemployment checks again and feel less dependent on my parents and slightly more stable. Part of me really feels ready to work again and part of me likes the whole not working thing. I suppose things will work out how they're supposed to. I'm hoping I get accepted into law school for the spring. They're only accepting applications for part time evening classes right now, but since I've been out of school since August 2004 it might be good to not plunge right into a full time school thing. I'm trusting that at some point ( hopefully January) I'll actually get this school thing going. God doesn't put a dream in our hearts unless he is going to follow through and cause it to come to pass. I've held onto this dream for 22 years. I'm anxious to finally get my life where its supposed to be. I have a feeling that soon things are going to start falling into place piece by piece :)